Hmm, Maybe Heroin Will Increase My Lifespan

26 Jun

Found on the clinical trials site,
Trial Information
Summary: Healthy users of heroin (men and women, age 21-45 yrs) needed for 4-8 week inpatient study of medication effects at the NY State Psychiatric Institute.

Earn between $2100 and $4280. Call the Substance Use Research Center at (212) 543 6243.

Contact: New York State Psychiatric Institute

Does anyone else find this puzzling? Maybe even, oh, I don’t know, oxymoronic? Last time I checked, heroin users aren’t exactly the picture of health. Either all of those after-school specials were wrong, or this is the Dept. of Psychiatry’s polite way of saying, “We’d like users who aren’t going to drop dead before the eight-week study is up, and fuck up all of our research. But, please, feel free to feed your habit at our expense, and then promptly keel over when we’re done with you.”

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